An Emotional Cleanse

Source energy here
Source energy there
Source energy everywhere

Sounds like a ditty this day.

In the past 24 hours are so I have witnessed Source in my life stepping in grandly to ease my pain with my restructured relationship, with answering a friends prayer request and filling in a gap for me.

I believe in the power of a good cry. I also know an intense emotional event to be a staunch enema. In case I had forgotten I just had one visited upon me. There is nothing like a good emotional cleanse. It awakens dead, now useless emotional tissue. It stirs up any and all wayward side ponds which may have been harboring stagnant water, deceptively cloaking overlooked hurts or unfinished business. It feels like it removes the top 2 or 3 layers of skin without mercy or anesthesia in an attempt to remove all evidence of past doings.

Mostly though, while experiencing this enema, it hurts. This all-encompassing purging allows the patient to set the record straight. To begin again in as healthy and whole a form as possible. Which is what I typically, conveniently forget, while enduring this procedure. The potentially fulfilling end result.

So after my recent cleansing, I was struck by the quickness of relief following my process, by the thoroughness of my ordeal. My thought is that as I have had a few in the past I move through them now more quickly and with an ease and grace I would not previously believed possible. At the end of the day, I truly felt peace infuse my being, like a gentle, mission driven fog taking over a play area–softly, quietly, effortlessly and then suddenly complete and all-encompassing.

Perhaps what strikes me most about this emanation is that I do not recall asking for it. Yes, I wanted the pain to move off but I don’t recall officially or formally praying for peace and plenty to accompany the aftermath. I will admit, I was basking in, truly milking my pity party for all it was worth.

But relief did come. So I am believing my enema-delivering-practitioner to be Source. A loving, benevolent well-intended-all-the-while-anticipating my needs caregiver. Can I get an every where present?

During this time period I had also received a resonating article, written by an astrologer, from a friend. Well something [like I don’t know what] suggested I share the piece with a simpatico co-worker. So I did. Later she came to me to share that just that morning she had been asking who she might interview for radio show–only to receive this potential beings offering.

Later in the day I pondered what to do with a day off whose plans went awry. I figured I would probably just go in to work and save the vacation hours for another time. However, I happened to call a friend to check his progress with the eye doctor, Spirit reminded me he is on Spring Break and WaLA–turns out his day is open!. So off to the hot springs we go! I could not have brought this about with such ease and grace had I planned it. Our schedules are often at cross purposes. Once again, every where present.

And so it is.

Committed Romance Mistaken

Recently I met an amazing man. We began a relationship I mistook for more committed romantic than it was.

But what I want to speak about is the amazing.

Amazing to connect with a human being with a sense of complete openness and honesty. Amazing to feel fully accepted as I am. Amazing, unwavering to this minute Trust! Wonderful understanding of what poets, lyricist and lovers everywhere get so excited about!

A welcome opportunity to feel blessed, valued and loved. I expect it is the closest I have ever felt to experiencing what Spirit offers, unconditional love. Wow! If you have not yet taken a dip in this pool, I most hardily recommend it as it is well worth experiencing.

I imagine my experience to be akin to this famous bit:

Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.


So even though I still smart from getting my head and heart straight–understanding this is not the relationship I reshaped it to be–I know that no where along my journey with this amazing man have I been abandoned by Spirit.

In fact I am sure the dancing feet of Spirit have traipsed through the whole of it. Which I know is a blessing, and for which I am grateful. So on the precipice of loosing this relationship completely or at least truly buggering it up, I give thanks for all that I have received over recent weeks: the gifts of knowing, of trusting, of being on the receiving end of attentiveness, of being visible, of bouquets of laughter and unending spontaneous smiles, of feeling valued, of being a member of the collective who knows all is right with the world, and yes, of course, feeling loved.

Finally, I give thanks for the gift of the power of the present moment which is abundant in the smarting salve Spirit.

And so it is.