And the answer is…

So Spirit was listening…always is, yes?!

Anyway, you may recall back in post Dancing With Snakes or Starfish Main Course, I shared about my frustration with and need to move.

Well, let me share more…last Saturday my amazing sister drove up and down about 20 streets over and over for 2 hours looking for my future residence. Almost time to be done, I said, “Okay, let me show you the places I know you will love.”

We visit The Marks. In order to tour we must hand over our driver’s license. My irritation hits the high note. The act gives them far more personal information than I feel is necessary for me to take a look. Like a grenade about to explode, I comply and we tour the campus. The location is perfect, the property attractive, the guide–well, overly gabby. But the price more than I want to fork out.

Now to a nearby competitor, Alexan. Wow! Stylish and attractive on the outside. Bright and inviting inside. I figure these must be condos for sale. No, they lease “homes”–apartments. We view a vacant model in the style I want.

As I enter I feel great energy. It is light and bright and spacious. I see the soaking tub, large windows and, OH MY GOODNESS as washer and dryer in the apartment! Wow! My sister snaps the shot below with her phone even though this unit is leased, as the one I am offered is currently occupied.

But place with the ideal location, convenience to work, workout center, pool and hot tub and access to light rail is even more expensive that the last place. Still it feels great.

I spend the week envisioning living in this space.

It is Friday and I am talking to my mother, who alternately makes me crazy and sane. It is a typical mother daughter thing, you know. Anyway, she has seen the she the picture my sister took. She says go for it. She also asks a question about my current debt that gets me to thinking. Well, no, I have no new debt.

I go home, sharpen my pencil and crunch some numbers. I could afford this place. Okay, there will be very little food on the table, but it is doable.

So, I email Heather to ask what is now available. She has a unit available inĀ  June for what my mother tells me will be like $220 more a year. Moms!

I email her back asking what is available in the price arrange we originally discussed.

She replys that the one she showed me is once again available.

We meet. Apparently, 3 other folks applied for the unit and were denied due to background or credit check. If I applied this month I would get $500 off the first month. As my employer is a prefered employer, over $100 in fees are waived. And the deposit is $87 because they use some company who will pay them should the occupant default.

Plus, because of I-can’t-remember-what they will not need to call/check my rental references or employer. Oh, Heather is able to complete my credit check and criminal background check in minutes. I pass! Hum.

We get all of this done in about 15 minutes.

Even she says, “This must have been meant to be!”

I say,”This is just weird.” I am thinking, “God’s got this,” and relax into the chair.

Now, on the next adventure, see what Spirit now has in store…

Crazy Wisdom Step

If you can’t cross over alive,
how can you cross when you’re dead?

–Kabir
The need to step into what we fear and, in so doing, disperse its hold on us is powerfully brought to life by a moment in the film Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. After searching everywhere within reason and memory for the Holy Grail, Jones stands on an enormous precipice, deep chasm before him, the Grail waiting on the other side. His father, wounded and depending o the Grail to heal, cries out possible interpretations of the clues Jones has been given to reach the Grail.
After what seems lifetime of inner debate and escalating fear, he dares, against everything he knows, to step into the void above the chasm,, and as he does, an enormous stone foundation appears beneath his feet, a bridge that was there along.
The Book of Awakening, Mark Nepo p 127-128

My intention is to become a mindful eater, to change my relationship with food. In doing so, I have been contemplating sharing my experiences on a company blog on health and fitness. For me, sharing this personal experience feels akin to walking off a precipice. The action reminds me of what Nepo defines as the crazy-wisdom step–that begins with risk and lands with trust–reveals a foundation that was there all along, but which is only made visible by our risk to think and see in new ways and our trust to step into what we fear. (p 128)

Well, golly, what you put it that way! Sheez! How could one fail? Well, truly how could I fail? I am convinced that mindful eating will be of benefit to me. I sense that by including others vicariously in my experience, I will experience an enhanced sense of support. It is not like I will participating in a public weigh in. Plus, my plan is to act now while dating blog posts a month or two out–you know allowing my ego a chance to adjust.

My conjecture is that by making my experience public, a foundation I have not yet envisioned will appear, will be made known to me.

Still, YIKES!

Bright Moments.